What we’re really excited about dogs with phones is the exchange of messages between canine and human.
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It’s like Comedy Central right at your fingertips.
There will be talk about aspirations and fears.
It might sometimes feel like you’re coddling a fugitive.
There will be discussions of your role in one another’s life.
Mysteries will unravel.
There will be confusion on what “NO” exactly means.
It will get awkward at times.
Debts will be collected.
There will be betrayal.
There will be random holidays.
There will be competition.
There will be talks about safety.
There will be lessons learned the hard way.
There will be confusing talks about anatomy.
There will be awkwardness. Lots of it.
There will be scratching of the head. Your head. And lots of it.
You will try to put your dog in its place.
There will be confusion, to be followed closely by anger.
There will be attempts to conceal jealousy.
There will be gestures of profound loyalty.
There will be a need for discipline.
Told you there will be lots of head-scratching.
There will be an interrogation.
There will be a much-needed talk about sexuality.